By Lisa Lauture

A few years ago, I started a conversation by asking the question, “Is self care selfish?”  That was fairly early in my journey in the public speaking space, and I have had a couple of years since; to live, grow, and reflect on that discussion.  My passion lies in this discussion because as a wife, mother, and important member of my family, it was (I mean IS) easy for me to “let myself go.”

I know I’m not alone because I’ve had the same conversation with so many other women.  A Woman’s Work, is what some people like to call it.  There are women everywhere who are married and unmarried, with and without children, who are called to be responsible for taking care of another human being.  The problem is, the care of others is often at the expense of the care of the caregiver (say that 5 times. Haha.) And so many times, women are taking care of other humans who are capable of taking care of at least some of their own needs. Yeah… A Woman’s Work.

Well, one thing I realized is that when we share space with others in some capacity, we have to make our self care a priority.  Not because it helps us show up for someone else but simply because we deserve to be loved and cared for too.  YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND CARED FOR TOO!

And yes indeed this takes a healthy dose of selfishness.  A selfishness that allows you to be willing to set boundaries around your time, and your resources to ensure that you have what you need to look good and feel good physically, mentally, and emotionally.  

In 2023 I decided to be more selfish about taking care of ME.  Doing so has allowed me to show up better in my purpose and for my family.  BUT, I did it for me and that has made all the difference in the world.  I get to love on my family and share my gifts with the world but I don’t feel like a martyr.  I don’t feel like I’m the footstool.

If you are ready to take better care of you, it’s okay to take a few steps at a time. Remember your 4 budget areas and determine what portion you will be saving for yourself. I started off by setting boundaries and saying no to requests that got in the way of the wellbeing of my family as well as my own. Now I say no to things that sabotage my health and overall wellness. Remember, small habits over time make a huge difference.